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13 years ago we Americans lost nearly 3,000 people over a senseless act of terrorism. It is one day in our nation’s history that has had the most profound impact on our lives, more so than any other event in recent history. To those 3,000 and their families there is nothing we can do to bring them back, but we Americans can promise to remember their sacrifice and remember the day that united all Americans as a country and as a people to help out one another, regardless of status, creed or occupation. All Americans bleed that day and the sacrifice of those 3,000 shall never be forgotten. That September 11th we grew closer as a nation and set aside our differences to help our fellow countrymen. I pray the victims and their families of this tragedy have found solace knowing their sacrifice has brought us closer as a country and reminded all Americans that no matter what we are all human and we all bleed the same. We will always remember their sacrifice and we WILL NEVER FORGET!

Truth about dating in your 30’s!

Okay, there comes a moment in every man’s life when you get over picking up random girls at bars, you stop looking for the slutty, insignificant, Hollywood hotties with the big sweater puppies and you start looking for “The One”, a girl worthy enough for you to start your life with, someone you can see being the mother of your children… today is NOT that day!!!! I met a smokin’ hottie on my flight, she seems to have the IQ of yogurt, but she looks great in yoga pants, and I’ve got a date with her tonight!!!!

My friend is attempting a 30 day cleanse this month, I said to her “The weekend before Halloween and all these awesome Halloween parties this weekend. Don’t be stupid. I’m calling BULLSHIT!”

Everyone knows before starting a cleanse you must first check for all major holidays St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo, 4th of July, The Oscars, Memorial Day, Coachella, Labor Day, President’s Day, Martin Luther King Day, Burning Man, Easter, The Emmy’s, Columbus Day, Veterans Day, My birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, The 8 days of Chanukah, Flag Day, New Years Eve, New Years Day, Taco Tuesday, Hump day, Thirsty Thursdays, TGI Fridays, Saturdays, Sunday Fundays, The Grammy’s

Then you must check all important sporting events, Lakers games, NFL Sundays, Monday Night Football, Thursday Night Football, all USC games, etc…

Then check all your important friend’s birthdays, check your calendars for weddings, anniversaries, bachelor/bachelorette parties, baby showers, Barney’s New York sales and other important life events.

Then you have check all concert schedules you may want to attend… because let’s be honest who wants to see John Mayer or Snoop Dogg sober… not me.

Then take a pregnancy test… then decide when you should quit drinking and do your stupid fucking cleanse. Geez.

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